Momma never raised no fool.

Today is March 30.

My daughter just moved out. My second and last child has moved a couple hours drive away to start her new life. Today I’m cleaning up from the flurry of yesterday’s moving activities, and I paused at one point to recall preparing for the first-born, my son, nearly 30 years ago. They call it “nesting” – the urge to clean and organize in preparation for the baby’s arrival.

Would what I’m doing now be called “de-nesting”? It seems appropriate – especially because that budgie of hers left a hella mess in my dining room.

Side note: Have you ever tried to sweep up feathers? Talk about trying to lasso the wind.

I decided to take a break from cleaning to write this post, because of the timing of all this. With my baby girl gone, I new that April would create a brand-new life for me as well.

After all the cleaning gets done, of course.

This actually comes after I had already started to make some changes at the opening of the year. Small changes, not all of them obvious, unless one is immediately impacted by them.

Like going into the office my first day back and saying I had intentions of working ZERO overtime from now on. And receiving complete support from management to do so.

This is what setting boundaries looks like, and it’s something new for me. And once I got a taste of it, I wanted more.

I then had a run-in with someone not okay with this new version of me. A person close to me was quite chagrined that I would hold my ground on a sensitive subject despite all their guilt-tripping, gaslighting, and undue pressure.

As the saying goes, the only people who object to you setting boundaries are those who benefitted from you not having any.

Are you unhappy with my decision? Yeah… that’s not my responsibility either.

Boundaries have also been set down around conversations I will not entertain. Someone close to me said something so incredibly bigoted recently, I stood up and left the room. They won’t change and I can’t make them, but I won’t have any part of that nonsense. None.

I’m even setting boundaries with myself. I am back on a fitness and nutrition program. My son’s engagement two weeks ago was the final prompt I needed to actually follow through on that “I gotta get in shape” promise to myself. Now I have a goal, a target date, motivation and most of all, a supportive environment to keep me on track.

So, what’s so special about April 1?

More boundaries!

The focus shifts even MORE to me and my life. I’ve spent 60 years making sure everyone else was happy. I think I’m due my turn.

There are two main fronts of that focus: My home and my business.

In the business, I will be more disciplined with my time. This is still a “side of the desk” venture that I intend to put front and center as quickly as possible. To do that, I have prep work to do and then take my skills out to market to find some quality clients to work with me.

I’m also in a couple of courses and communities in which I need to get ‘caught up’ after all the preoccupation with my daughter's departure and her brother’s betrothal.

And when I say I’m getting more disciplined, there are ways I’m going to source every available minute in my time away from the paycheck to accomplish my intentions.

All non-essential apps on my phone? Gone.

Zoom calls and meetings without an agenda or purpose? Sorry. Put it in an email and I’ll get to it when I have a window available.

Needing someone to do design work? I know someone. I’m moving out and away from all hands-on design and social media work, outside my own posts.

I have set up dedicated time-blocking for building my business, including writing (like this), meeting my ‘test’ clients (thank you ladies!) and preparing my offers and community (stay tuned).

Priorities. Process. Planning. Peace. Pacing.
My Projector design is Pleased.

The other part of my focus is – and always will be – my family.

I have a wedding next year for which to prepare. My daughter will require a little coaching now and then on how to navigate life flying 100% solo. I have a 94-year-old mother in a nursing home with dementia, so visits there are more frequent because we don’t know how much more time we have with her. I have older siblings who I monitor for any signs they may be the next ones needing additional attention or support.

The people in our lives are what really matter in life.

I’ll still have my coffee catch-ups with in-person friends and phone calls with my family, but aside from that, I’m on a mission.

And of course, the ‘de-nesting’ goes on…

Speaking of which, the dust bunnies appear to be gathering. I think they’re forming an HOA. I better go bust that up now.

If you’re curious to know more about what I’m cooking for this business, or want to talk about working with me, leave your email in my contact form. I’ll be starting a newsletter soon with updates on this community I am building later this year.